Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
