He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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