how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
