I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
