and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I smell like Dick and happiness
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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