I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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