lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
