i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
