One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
