We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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