bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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