You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
