Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
