I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
