i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Randomize
