Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
