If i come over, it means nothing
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
