he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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