how can u be prego again
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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