Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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