I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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