Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
