So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
