yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Found the puke drawer
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
