i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
