New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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