I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
