I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
how does that bad decision feel?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
