I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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