last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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