its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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