Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
