my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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