So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
