my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
