Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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