I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
