no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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