I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
