i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
