I hate your face
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
