I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
