I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
