Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
