I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
