dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
