He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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