I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
