i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
