have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
