were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
