I'm jealous of your bromance
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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