I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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