they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ladies don't puke and tell
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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