I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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