I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
