Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
