I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
